For my Dad's 60th birthday we're sending him away for the weekend. My Dad loves to drive. He loves to travel for no real purpose other than to drive and see places. He loves the province we live in and he loves to see it.
He also works super hard. He may be retired now, but I worry more about his workload now than ever. See my Mom has Alzheimers. She's not ever 60 yet, and has had it for about 8 years. She can still talk (somewhat) and still function...but she needs someone with her most of the time - she can do parts of cooking, but ....
sorry...this is hard to write about. I don't know how to describe what their life is like...or what life is like for her, knowing she's slowly losing so much of herself. I don't know how to describe what life is like for my Dad...constantly watching over and worrying about my mom...and yet still wanting to do the things God has placed in front of him. I don't know how to love my mom - who is so different now than the mom I grew up with - in good and bad ways. I feel guilt and saddness and pity and horror...It is a terrible thing to live with. And yet, most days seem normal. Most days seem fine. And they live their lives seeing people at church, walking to Granville island hoping to strike up conversation with anyone they can, going to movies and being grandparents. But nothing is as it was expected when they looked to the future 10 years ago, and that breaks my heart.
So this weekend we're sending my Dad away for a rest. We're spoiling my mom and showering love on her. and it's breaking my heart....every day. but at least in this small way and for this weekend I can do something tangible to love them.
Friday night we're eating dinner together and then the three of us girls are headed to the movie "The Help". I think we'll hit up the hot tub at my parents place afterwards and then all go to bed. In the morning we'll eat Egg Muffins and take a walk, then head to my place where I"ll start preparing our high tea. At 11am Jenna will get her hair done up the road, and at noon I'll get my hair done. While my hair is being done Jenna will do mom's hair and makeup. We will have our high tea and then my wonderful friend Laura and her husband Nick will come in to Vancouver to do a photo shoot with us.
Now that my mom is sick my Dad's holidays have changed drastically. While Jenna and I and the rest of the family give him presents and cards there is no longer a gift/card from his wife. He so misses having a card from his partner. So 1. we're taking photos now to give him as a gift at christmas - so that he can remember mom while she is still with it enough to take photos. Almost every picture of her at my wedding captures her looking confused and lost...so we're wanting to redeem that while it's still possible. and 2. we're going to sit down with mom and ahve her tell us all the things she loves best about Dad. it will take a long time as her speech is confused and slow...but oh man, will he loves to read this things. We will write them at birthdays and christmases and even once she can't speak, we will ensure he hears something of how she loves him. Oh man...killer.
After the photos we'll probably go for another walk and then head back to my mom for appies and old family videos. She loves to travel down memory lane, ironically. She still remembers so much of it. So we will laugh and tease and remember together.
I don't know how to deal with this. I just don't know. But I do know my God is good. I do know my parent have raised me wonderfully and showered such love and affection on me. I know they have sacrificed and worked to love me and provide for me. My mom isn't like other moms. She never has been. But she is the woman that God made her to be. Quirks and all - and this weekend I want to celebrate that...encourage that...and honour that.
On a lighter note (because i need to transition or I'll keep bawling):
Tonight I wanted to get a bunch done for the meals for the weekend...here is my list and the crossed off ones were what I got completed.
- Make Mix for Lemon Cranberry Scones
Make Cream Cheese WrapsHard boil EggsMake Chocolate Covered StrawberriesMake Mini Lemon TartsMake Casserole for Friday- Make Chocolate Covered truffles
Make Egg Muffins- Make Hummus
Basically I need to finish up the Scones, truffles and Hummus on Saturday with my mom and sister and life should be perfect!
Alright..time to finish watching Grey's Anatomy. A show I love and brings me to tears like non-other. Wait, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition also makes me cry.
Alright - to bed or to Grey's. Lets see!
Alright - to bed or to Grey's. Lets see!
1 comment:
those are such beautiful gifts.
I keep you all in my prayers.
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