Childhood friends are always an interesting topic to me.
Looking back I always felt like I didn't really have friends.
There were some girls at church that I knew and there were some people in
school that were nice to me, but for a long time I didn’t feel like I really
really had friends. But then I look back at home videos and get together with
friends and reminisce and realize that there were friends in my life – it was a
lovely realization! And peppered throughout all of them was my friend
Tami.
I have known Tami since I was 8 (I've talked about her
before, here).
I grew up going to Arrowsmith Baptist Church but when I was 8 we switched to
St. Albans. It was a hard switch for Jenna and I. We had been going to
Arrowsmith since we were born – our family was there, our cousins were there,
our friends were there, our grandma was there. Arrowsmith was the center of our
world for many years – our Auntie Sandy worked there as a secretary and when
she was working we would be hanging out with her, climbing all over the desks
and chairs and having fun exploring the church. Switching to a building and a
people that we didn’t know was hard! It was definitely a growing edge to learn
how to make friends there, but I remember from day one there was Tami Doughty
(Tam-wy Doody, as some call her). Tami was right in between Jenna and I age
wise, and strangely seemed to love things both of us loved, despite how
different Jenna and my interests were. When I look at home videos I can always
see Tami at our birthday parties…and as we grow older she continues to be
there. I am so thankful to have a friendship that spans so many years! I turned
30 this year (9 months ahead of Tami) and can’t believe that means we have
shared 22 years of friendship!
More than any other friend Tami and my lives seemed to
intersect. Growing up at St. Albans (later Alberni Christian Fellowship) we
went to Sunday School together, then junior youth group together, then regular
Youth Group and finally Young Life. We have traveled all over for church: LA,
Mexico, CreationFest, up and down the island, MissionsFest in Vancouver.
We went to the same High School, and later we ended up at
the same University and even had a class together!! When I was living in
Nanaimo we would often get together, and later she even moved in with me there.
We both moved to Tofino, summer 2002, and she got a job where I was working, at
the Wickanninnish Inn. We went to the beach and to work and to hang out with
friends and she was always just there.
I remember taking a trip with Tami over to Vancouver to
visit our friend Sarah when we were 23/22. We got up bright and early and
caught the 6:30am boat. We were hyper and silly and mostly acted like the silly
kids we used to be. Once we caught up with Sarah, the silliness continued and
that day is one of my fondest memories.
Tami and I shared crushes, and adventures and silly dreams.
We were in choir and ball hockey together. When our youth group would ski I
would go with Tami and her Dad, Gary….Jenna and Tami would snowboard side by
side, and Gary and I would ski. Gary taught me to water ski (I wasn’t great)
and helped me learn to be a good skier (he’s seriously good at it). Tami’s family
lived out at the lake and had a hot tub, dock and boat (much sought after) and
they were always happy to share and invite you out. I loved their generosity
and hospitality.
Last month was my friend Tami’s 30th birthday on the
island. To see her surrounded by a wonderful group of friends warms my
heart. Everyone at the party was absolutely lovely, though I wouldn't expect
anything less from people who loved Tami. We had a lovely dinner and
then went back to Tami’s place to sit in the woods at the fire pit. Despite
the -3 temperatures, the roaring fire was warm and the friends were so
much fun. We laughed and laughed….we were out there until almost 2am. I
even joined the boys and went on a zipline in the dark at 1am!
Tami is going to be having a child this spring, and is with
a wonderful man named Eric. I love seeing her flourish and be loved. She is
already a great teacher, and is going to make one heck of a mom!
Another blessing from Tami’s birthday was seeing some Port
Alberni people. Port is my home town and now that my parents live on the
mainland I rarely make it over…and when I do I’m mostly seeing family or
specific friends…I don’t usually get to see a whole bunch of random people
unless I run into them in Walmart (like you are guaranteed to do in a small
town). Port Alberni has 20,000 people in it…it’s a small town but it’s also
very possible to be from that town and not know a lot of the people. Growing up
I had a pretty wide base of people we knew – church, school, sports, dance…plus
my parents are “people” people so we knew tons of people from all sorts of
places. Usually, if you’re around Port, we can find a few people we know in
common. This evening was no exception. There were two Port people (and a whole
gaggle of people who teach in Port but aren’t from there), this makes sense as
Tami lives in Nanaimo but teaches in Port. One of the girls at the party,
Lindsay, used to live one house down from me from the age of 5 until my parents
moved. Funnily enough, while I saw her around, we never really talked growing
up. There was a year between us (she was older than me and therefore
intimidating) but we went to the same elementary school, junior high and high
school. We've been in each others houses over the years, but never
with great regularity. Lindsay and I are facebook friends and it was fun
to get to catch up – I’ve noticed that her and I often share friends – watching
her and Tami become friends was really fun. It was great to catch up with her!
There was also a guy, Stuart, from my sisters grade. He was there with his very
sweet girlfriend Katie who works in Port also teaching (who I remember hearing
about ages ago when my friend Sarah was talking about her little sisters
awesome redheaded teacher, who was friends with Tami). How fun it was to chat
with the three of them – reminiscing about growing up in port (#portproblems)
and just generally laughing and talking about a shared childhood experience.
This isn't something I get to engage in often and I soooo
enjoyed it. I think I’m glad Paul wasn't there just so
he wouldn't have had to listen to all the port talk –
though thankfully there were a bunch of non-Port people there…and we were in
the woods, so mostly I do wish he was there.
Friday I had lunch with a friend from Port Alberni – I
hadn’t seen her since graduation but really we hadn’t been close since grade
10. I had so much fun reminiscing with her about our grade 10 classes and our
shared experiences. Mostly I spend my life looking forward, or looking back at
my last few Vancouver years. To get to delve into the wonders of a Port Alberni
Childhood was a real treat. Say what you will about Port Alberni (actually
don’t, that’ll just bugs me), but that place is awesome. I know this article says the opposite, but honestly it's close to bigger cities, it's close to nature, it's got a wonderful lake and lots of things to see and do nearby. It’s a
wonderful place to raise kids and it’s a great place to be grow up and learn to
experience life. My childhood felt safe, but full of adventure. There were
woods and lakes and rivers to explore. There were community events and annual
celebrations. The teachers were great (generally), the sports were competitive
and the theatre, music and dance programs were actually decent. We may have had
a smelly Mill but we no longer do, we do have the best lake in the province,
Sproat Lake (I would marry that lake if that was possible). The people in Port
are some of the kindest people I have ever met – that town feels like home and
family all rolled in to one and I’m so thankful to that area for raising me.
They say it takes a village to raise a child and I would say Port Alberni did
me well in that regard.
Thanks Tami for a fun Port flashback night – Happy Birthday,
I am so so so lucky to be your friend. Here’s to another 22+ years!
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