#mamasquad

One of the most vulnerable (and valuable) things I do is host moms group. I know, it doesn't sound vulnerable, right? But somehow it is. See mom's group is important in my life for two reasons: 1. I love creating spaces for deep relationship and authenticity. I value hosting women and creating community so people don't feel alone, especially those in the throes of mama life. 2. I go stir crazy if I'm home with just my kids all day. Moms group fills my social need, gives my kids friends to play with, and fills my need to love people. 

 

The thing is, kids are unpredictable. Sometimes my kids don't cooperate. Sometimes other kids don't cooperate. Sometimes I wish I could cancel. Sometimes so many moms show up. Sometimes it's crazy and sometimes no one shows up. The times it's crazy I worry that other moms aren't enjoying themselves. The times that it's just me, I know I'm drained. The times that other kids don't cooperate I worry about the moms who are worried about how their kids are acting.

October twin mom group

November twin mom group

Most of the time though, it's perfect. Some days it's been me and one mom, so we get deep real conversation - though of course, I worry that she's wishing more moms came. One day it was me, and a pregnant friend and my sister. The pregnant friend stayed all day and it was a delight. One week it was 6 twin moms, 12 babies and while I'm pretty sure not one full conversation or thought was had, it was awesome. Crazy and loud and full of babies, but awesome. 

Visiting with Jess, mom to be (now full on mama to a cutie pie of a boy)

It's a strange mix these weekly meet ups. A blessing but beforehand I'm nervous and excited and insecure. I'm also in need. If no one comes, it's hard to be alone all day with all 4 kids. It's not the work of 4 kids for me (although I won't pretend that's not a thing) but it's the social aspect that I need. Last week none of the moms could come for moms group, though my sister and her son managed to swing by for 45 minutes at 9:15 which made the morning.  Even that 45 minutes helped so much. I can, of course, go without it, but it just makes it easier to be loving and kind and gracious with my kids - when my heart is full. 

Sherri and Avie - so thankful for friends who show up when I call needing support!

That being said, the biggest thing I want from mom's group is for moms to have community. Twin moms, non-twin moms. I want people to mix and find commonalities and differences and a place to belong. The first year of parenting ROCKED ME. I was so thankful to have an amazing community of mom's around me - my friend Leah and sister Jenna hosted a mom's group every second Friday (the original iteration of this moms group) and it was so good to me. I also had friends from prenatal class - we met up consistently for walks and happy hour. There were church moms, stay at home moms, working mom friends, and neighborhood moms - our old neighborhood had the best community ever, it still does. I don't take these different communities for granted - they have helped shape me into the mother I am today. The friends I am today. I want to offer that to others - through moms group, through hosting the twin moms (because while those types can mix, there's something special about the multiples gatherings), and through meeting up with moms one on one. It offers my heart a lot, and I like to think it affects others as well. 

Visiting with Rachel, a mama friend I met at a party two summers ago and we just clicked! 

I say all this not to highlight my need or even these specific moms groups - but for those who are stuck home with little babies, for those who don't have community and feel alone in their parenting, for those who have a community but are open to more, or for those who have friends alongside in them - a reminder to search out community, to value relationships. To see the parts of ourselves that exist outside of our kids and nourish those - whatever that looks like. For me, it's social times (among other things) but for each of us it's something different - and so often a community of women, of moms, can be a part of meeting those needs. 

My friend Shakira (newly moved back to Vancouver, thank goodness) came immediately when I called for reinforcements with baby bjorn bouncer in tow - plus she has kids that my kids love. This is a friend I met in the hot tub at the pool when our oldest girls were just babies!

What value there is in hearing that others feel the same you do. To hear that others struggle with the same struggles. To hear that others get annoyed or sharp with their kids. To enjoy your kids together as they interact. To sit side by side in the chaos, shoulder to shoulder without many words. To talk over stroller walks, or playing kids. To engage your heart and your mind with friendships. What a gift to be honest and real - it's a gift to ourselves (freedom) but its a gift to others (connection). 

A twin mom friend, from California. I sure do love me an American! Plus she has twin babies of her own and is holding Charlotte here <3

Every Friday, it is worth it to me to sit here, hoping moms come, knowing that this space is good news to my heart and it is good news to those that make it - whether there are 2 of us or 6 of us. Whether its just my kids and me or my kids plus 10 others - it is 100% worth it.