Avelynn is 7 and a half months old! She's a bundle of pure energetic joy. I can't believe it's been so long already. I have been a mom for half a year. Crazy. I mean, crazy.Here is a compilation of thoughts written over the past two months, written when I could convince myself to focus and write. I love to write and love to blog - and normally there's lots to say about my baby each month and yet....I was drawing a blank.
A blank...like a sleeping baby
Too busy partying - sleep needed
Seriously, so no to this face
Written mid November:
Avelynn is talking a lot - and by talking, mostly I mean just being very vocal. Not so much with the actual words of anything. She sings and squawks and makes noise all the time. It's very sweet. Sometime she'll talk and sing for hours. It's very sweet.
She stands and rolls and loves to be thrown and flown around. She's a thrill seeker. She isn't walking or crawling yet (praise the lord) but she can roll across a room fairly decently. She likes putting things in her face, putting things in her mouth, holding things near her face, hitting herself in the face with things accidentally, putting other peoples hands and faces into her mouth and putting her fingers on other peoples faces.
Bread in mouth
Banana in mouth
Foot in mouth
Cereal in mouth
Cucumber in mouth
Soother in mouth
Nicknames include Munchkin, little baby, Avie, Pumpkin, Peanut, Avie Javie and little love. Mostly all the nicknames you expect for a sweet baby girl.
Our days are full and busy - we see friends and family, we attend church events (where she is passed around from person to person), we buy groceries, we nap, we cook, we drive places and walk with the stroller. We have a lovely time together. I'm so thankful to have such a sweet natured daughter. I'm definitely enjoying this whole mothering thing so far. There are moments of not feeling super sure, overwhelmed moments, and moments where I just wish an adult would come in and tell me what to do!
Midday cuddles
Oh, hi.
Early November we went away for the first time without Avie. It was my first time away from her overnight and we were away two nights! While I missed her (in a "she's sweet and cute" sort of way) we really enjoyed our time away together. We were at our church's Marriage Retreat - such a fabulous time together and with friends. Avie had a great weekend with her grandparents too. She was all smiles and giggles. It was so great to get away with Paul. We got to spend time together, talking, learning. Pastor Greg spoke about different marriage things and then we got to talk it all over. It was so helpful. Also we had some terrible chinese food. Unfortunate.
Written late November:
It's late. I'm awake in bed typing away. Avie is happily sleeping in her room (after spending 10 straight minutes giggling over nothing) and Paul is asleep next to me. NCIS plays in the background and I finally take a minute to type.
At Granville Island
I was terrified to be a mom. Honestly. Seriously, scared. BUT it's been a more exciting and fun and peaceful adventure than I expected. I'm pretty sure that's because my family and friends and husband are awesome. I've always thought I was too selfish to be a mom...and it's true. It's also true that something changes in you when you look that little baby in the face. Also it's screaming, so you have to be better. It's a bit of both.
Swinging
My house is clean. My baby is asleep. My husband is doing dishes. We have out of town guests who are chatting with a visiting friend in the living room. It's a stat day so it's a nice extra in the middle of the week to have my husband home. It's moments like these that make everything seem so good.
And it's interesting because I still feel the temptation not to look on the bright side of it. I mean I ate a little too much so I feel a bit sluggish. It would be easy to focus on that. Our van was broken into last night so it doesn't have a window and it was raining all night. I am tempted to be fearful about getting it fixed on a stat day and having nothing more happen to it in between, as it currently sitting with a tarp over it. It's so easy to see what's not great. Naturally I am torn inside of myself - I see things as happy and good...and then I feel deeply the uncomfortable things and my natural cheeriness feels like a bit challenging to live in. But then I look around and I see all those good things and somehow it's ok.
Avie and Daddy
Flying
Written early December:
Today I threw my neck out - I texted Jenna to change our plans for the morning since moving a lot was out of the picture. Avie was perched on my stomach, smiling and waving. Jenna texted back and offered to come get Avie for the morning. Avie went on her way with her awesome Auntie Jenna and I headed back to bed with a heat pad. Jenna was at Women at Prayer (a weekly prayer meeting with church women) and my Auntie Debbie was there and when she heard what was up, she offered to take Avie after the meeting (since Jenna had to work). Debbie took her until 6:30, leaving me free to rest at home, see a massage therapist, pick up Paul AND meet with our financial planner as scheduled. Despite my mom being sick and in a hospital and unable to help, for a moment, I felt like I had a mom. I had people to step in and help. My sister and my Aunt stood in the gap for my mom today, and man, I appreciate it.
Written, today:
Paul asked me the other day if I was still blogging. If I still loved blogging. My friend Laura asked me the other day about being a mom, about how that affects priorities. Can you still do everything you did before? There's more time. There's less time. What does that look like? For me, there are things I do more of. My house is tidier (keep in mind, I only have one child). I have fixed problem areas in my house. I go to church staff meetings. I see more women. There are things I do less of. I haven't made a blog post in two months. I don't stick to meal plans. There are things I still suck at. I don't organize photos well. My digit photobase is a disaster. Laundry is still super crappy. I hate it. Putting clothes away is really hard. My cellar is still messy. There are things I am still good at. I won't list them. But they exist. So, yeah.
Anyways, Paul's question about blogging got me thinking. I really do love blogging. I love documenting. I love capturing life. So I want to get back into it. No idea where to find the motivation but at least there's a heart there.
And in the meantime there is this sweet sweet face. And I quite like it.
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